I had no idea this blog was still up. I hate the fact I had my nuts cut off. OK they say. Only 1 in xxxx. Well that is me. Fuckers. Experimenting and seeing if doing it a different way works. Well it does but it fucking hurts. Would not have signed up for this if I knew. Fortunately red wine and Bruce Springsteen makes me happy. Not sure Ronnie is happy though. I want to but it hurts. Only 40 and already fucked. Aresholes. I do love her so. You don't know but I love her so fucking much. Adoration is a pale word to use. Still. What shall I do? Just carry on I suppose. Night.